HamAlong Pt 1: "He showed himself proficient at elegant insults"
I thought I was going to read a boring history text, but I'm not even kidding, THIS SUCKER'S A PAGE TURNER.
Hamilton has the worst luck ever. He was born "illegitimately". His father abandoned him. His mother died of illness mere inches away from him in the same bed as he was just coming out of his own fever. His new guardian committed suicide. He was disinherited. His hometown is ravaged by a hurricane. Even when he catches a break for a better life, his boat to 'Murica catches fire and he barely manages to make it to Boston Harbor. Worst luck ever.
Hamilton makes one hell of a lemonade. He's got the worst luck ever and life just bazooka-ed him with a million bushels of lemons (see above). However, mein gott is he scrappy. He pens an amazing letter to his father about the hurricane which moves everyone and their mother to tears when it's published. The locals chip in to send their boy-genius on a free ride to America. Henry Knox becomes the fairy godmother to his Cinderella, and they play their parts well as Hamilton networks like crazy with rich dudes who have hot daughters (i.e. the Livingstons, the Stirlings). Nice, Hamilton. Well played.
Hercules Mulligan is such a badass name. That is all.
Hamilton hits you right in the feels. You think that such a depressingly rough childhood would give him hardened resilience, and it did to a certain extent, but he also has deep empathy, loyalty, and compassion for others. While one facet of his persona indicated a fierce man of sharp wit and intellect, his poems and night vigils for those ailing or in distress tugged at my heartstrings. This was supposed to be a dry and boring history book, darn it! Not make me cry over a dead politician! *wipes eyes with lace handkerchief*
May I see your ID please? Hamilton constantly lied about being younger so that he could go to school with all the other 15 year olds. I feel totally justified about not correcting anyone when they assume when I'm 5 years younger than I really am, HA.
You call that a safety school?! I love that he "settled" for going to King's College, aka today's ivy-league Columbia. "Women were strictly banned from the college grounds, along with cards, dice, and other subtle snares of the devil." WOW, lump us all together, why don't you.
Someone's got a man-crush! Ron Chernow's description of Hamilton says it all: "... his jaw chiseled and combative. Slim and elegant, with thin shoulders and shapely legs, he walked with a buoyant lightness and his observant, flashing eyes darted about with amusement." You could have just written "scrawny dude with chicken legs and a case of ADHD", but no. Ron Chernow's the ultimate fanboy, or he wouldn't have written this brick of a book in the first place.
Alexander Hamilton: Macho Action Hero. After the Boston Tea Party incident, he wrote a few essays to lay down his $0.02. After enough of that, he set down the pen and decided to just go for it - on the battlefield. "I was born to die and my reason and conscience tell me it is impossible to die in a better or more important cause." CAN this guy get any more macho? *fans self*
OT3 bromance, whoop whoop! Ron Chernow 'ships them, and YOU KNOW IT. Exhibit A: "At the very least, we can say that Hamilton developed something like an adolescent crush" and Exhibit B: "the breathless tone of the letters that Hamilton exchanged with Laurens and Lafayette is unlike anything in his later letters". I rest my case.
Until next time, HamAlongers!
Running tally of life lessons learned from Hamilton
- Read LOTS of books and study up: he learned how to warmonger from books, fer Pete's sake!
- Fake it til ya make it. You'll eventually look like you know what you're doing.
- Find a mentor. If not a mentor, a fairy godmother like Henry Knox who will vouch for you - he opened so many doors that way.
- Network network network!
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